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When Little Sister Heather’s older siblings moved away, she felt abandoned. “She was feeling sad, angry, and having behavior outbursts at school to the point that she was losing friends and being made fun of,” her parents say.

A child with a developmental disability and a speech impairment, Heather needed an understanding, patient support network. “Heather was missing out on growth outside our circle,” Heather’s mom says. “We felt she needed more than just her dad and I. She needed to feel loved and important outside our house.”

Heather’s parents enrolled her at Big Brothers Big Sisters of Central Oregon, and more than four years ago, she was matched with her Big Sister, Cinnamon. The company Cinnamon works for, Umpqua Bank, supports the community by allowing employees paid time off each week to do volunteer work. Some employees limit their volunteer work to work hours, but Cinnamon sees her Little Sister on Heather’s schedule.

“The time I spend with Heather gives her parents a rest from the constant caring and needs that come with having a handicapped child, and it gives me a rest from my everyday responsibilities in a busy, noisy world,” Cinnamon says.

Spending time with Big Sister Cinnamon has helped Little Sister Heather work on her self-esteem, emotional resilience, and life skills. People sometimes have a hard time understanding her because of her speech impairment, but she is better at dealing with that now, too, her parents say. “She has so much more confidence speaking to people and doesn’t get angry if they don’t understand her the first time,” Heather’s parents say. “We feel these gains are a direct result of Cinnamon’s involvement with Heather.”

“ It is a privilege and an honor for me to be a part of Heather’s life and to watch her grow and change. It is also a humbling experience for me to understand on a small level what it means to care for a child with Heather’s unique needs.” – Big Sister Cinnamon

Heather has overcome many of the challenges she faced that led her parents to enroll her as a Little Sister four years ago. Her self-esteem has improved, and she now exhibits model behavior at school. “She has many friends with and without disabilities, and is a healthy, happy, beautiful young lady,” her parents say.

In the time Little Sister Heather and Big Sister Cinnamon have been matched, they have gone horseback riding, visited a petting zoo, painted ceramics, and seen a live concert in the park. One of their favorite activities to do together is spend time in the kitchen following recipes and preparing meals. Cinnamon wanted to make sure Heather was learning life skills to ensure her independence, so she began helping Heather practice cooking skills. “Cinnamon is my friend and I love her,” Heather says. “We make soup together and have dinner together.”

Being creative, kind and patient help Cinnamon as a mentor. Cinnamon says she finds ways to work through Heather’s challenges and that ultimately, she benefits from having a Little Sister as much as Heather benefits from having a Big.

“Heather’s parents sought out Big Brothers Big Sisters because they wanted Heather to matter to someone else besides just them,” she says, “and I volunteered for Big Brothers Big Sisters because I needed to do something that mattered to someone.”

At the beginning of her freshman year, Little Sister Denitra tried out for the cheerleading squad. When she didn’t make it, she told her Big Sister, Doris, how disappointed she was. “I told Denitra that she should practice, learn as much as she could about the required stunts, and plan to try out again,” Doris says. She told Denitra to seek out a cheerleader and to get advice on how to improve. “I advised that cheerleading was no different than achieving any other goal – you practice over and over and do research on how to achieve the goal.”

When Big Sister Doris was growing up, she had a strong support network guiding her toward achieving her own goals. “I really appreciate that my parents stressed education and gave me guidance on how to make decisions on some of life’s difficult questions – how to select a college and career, how to manage money, how to decide with whom to socialize, and other key decisions,” Doris says. “I wanted to share some of that knowledge with a Little Sister.”

Big Sister Doris and Little Sister Denitra have been matched for over 10 years. Denitra was 7 when they first met. Denitra grew up with a young single mother who often held two jobs. “I am a mother of seven children,” Denitra’s mom says. “It would have been hard for me to show Denitra the genuine support and caring ways that Doris has shown to her.”

“ Doris is so full of energy even on her bad days, that she keeps on pushing and striving to be the best in whatever she does, even if it’s traveling to China or just running errands with Denitra.”
– Little Sister Denitra’s mom

Big Sister Doris has taken her Little Sister to visit nearby college campuses and encouraged her to make schoolwork a priority. “Doris helped me comprehend things I never really understood or was confused about. She has taught me right from wrong, good [from] bad, and what’s too high and what’s the perfect discount,” Denitra says. Doris has always stressed the importance of doing well in school, and Denitra has absorbed that lesson, her mom says. “My baby has learned so much and still has the drive to do what’s best in her beginning stages of adulthood, beginning with the tools that Doris has taught her,” she says.

From a curious but rebellious little girl to a driven young person, Denitra has grown a lot in the 10 years she has been matched with Doris. “Doris took Denitra under her wing and has guided her step by step on how to become a young lady,” Denitra’s mom says. Denitra now sets goals and is determined to achieve them.

“When I have exciting news, Doris is the first person I want to call and tell,” Denitra says.

With her focus on school and her ambition to be successful, Denitra has had to make lots of those good-news calls. Now, Denitra is looking forward to college. She made the honor roll. She became a member of the student council. And at the beginning of her junior year, Denitra made the cheerleading squad.

At 8 years old, Alyssa was shy. Withdrawn. She did not like speaking in front of people, and she had a hard time expressing herself. When she first met her Big Sister, Karen, she answered Karen’s questions quietly, with one-word answers.

“Do you like math?” Karen asked the 8-year-old during their first meeting.

“Yes,” she said.

Big Sister Karen and Little Sister Alyssa were first matched as part of Nutmeg Big Brothers Big Sisters’ Beyond School Walls program, a workplace mentoring program in which students visit an office or workplace on a set schedule and meet with their mentor, an employee of that company. Big Sister Karen is Comcast’s Western New England Manager of Community Investment. When Alyssa graduated from Beyond School Walls, the pair decided to continue their match by enrolling in the community-based program.

Big Sister Karen has made it a priority to introduce Alyssa to new experiences. “Together we have created memories of days volunteering and days spent at the library, bowling, and baking and cooking, golfing, drawing, trips to the theater, museums, bike rides, movie nights, an adventure in New York City, and walks with the dog,” Karen says. No matter what they’re doing, Alyssa says, her Big Sister always manages to teach her something.

“ I’m happy that Karen has come into my life. She makes me smile, teaches me things, and makes me feel I can do things that I thought I might not be able to do before I met her.”

– Little Sister Alyssa

Little Sister Alyssa’s mom says Karen has instilled in Alyssa the value of volunteerism, sharpened her focus on schoolwork, and brought her out of her shell. “Before they were matched, Alyssa knew very little – if anything – about volunteerism,” Alyssa’s mom says. “Volunteerism is a way of life to Karen.” Now, Alyssa believes it is important to help out in the community.

The commitment to giving back is part of what drove Little Sister Alyssa to do things she thought she would never do, like appear on television or give a speech in front of hundreds of people. So when Nutmeg BBBS selected Karen and Alyssa as a match to highlight during their gala, Alyssa was ready when the local news station wanted to interview them. “Karen helped me with what I’d say and what the TV people would ask me,” Alyssa said. “It turned out to be lots of fun. My friends and family said they watched me and that I did very well. That was the best!”

Not only did they speak on television about their match and speak in front of 300 people at the gala, but they also raised money for Nutmeg BBBS as part of a “Sponsor Our Speech” promotion. Using an online platform, they raised more than $4,000. All of this seems impossible for a girl who was first described as shy and withdrawn.

In the three years they have been matched, Alyssa has become much more confident. She hasn’t started high school yet, but her mom says she is already planning on going to college. She even ran for a position on student government.

“Karen has also helped me learn to express myself,” Alyssa says. “I used to be very shy and wasn’t comfortable speaking up in front of people. That’s not true anymore.”

Standing within school grounds and looking out at the landscape, Big Brother Dan and Little Brother Jordan could see New Mexico’s Seven Sisters, a series of small volcano mounds. When Big Brother Dan and Little Brother Jordan were first matched, Jordan was in third grade. Their match began with Dan visiting Jordan at school each week. They played games, did homework, read books, and looked out at the hiking trails. “We would tell each other stories about dinosaurs and saber-toothed chipmunks (he didn’t buy that one) and how they roamed the mesa, being careful to stay out of the lava,” Dan says. “He would ask a question about something and I would try to explain it.”

Being a school-based match allowed them to focus on getting to know one another, without the added challenges of coordinating schedules or planning activities. “Jordan and I spent our first year strictly site-based, exploring the school library and playground, and it gave us an opportunity to get to know each other,” Dan says. “We spent our time walking and talking about anything and everything he wanted to talk about. He had a curiosity I enjoyed.”

After learning about Jordan’s passion for nature and history, Big Brother Dan wanted to help Jordan explore the land they discussed so often. Like many site-based matches, they transitioned their match from site-based visits at the school to community-based.

“ He is helping teach Jordan responsibility and respect. If you start a project, you see it to the end and do it the best you can.”

– Little Brother Jordan’s mom

Little Brother Jordan chose their first outside-of-school adventure: a trip to the National Atomic Museum. Dan and Jordan have been matched for more than four years now, and they have explored historic sites, gone hiking in the Taos Mountains, the West Mesa Volcanoes, and the Sandia Large Array. “The impact I have had on Jordan was showing him there is more out there than is on TV or in Albuquerque,” Big Brother Dan says.

As Jordan moved toward adolescence, Jordan’s mom says Dan’s influence was crucial. “As a single mom, it was important to have a strong, positive male figure in Jordan’s life. Someone to look up to,” she says. “Since Jordan’s dad is not in the picture, Dan has sort of filled that void. There is only so much a mom can understand or provide as far as ‘boy stuff.’”

The support of Jordan’s mom has been just as essential, Big Brother Dan says. “I don’t think people know how important parent involvement is to a match,” he says.

Jordan’s mom says she is truly grateful that Jordan has Dan for a Big Brother. She says he is a positive role model for her son. “He is helping to teach Jordan responsibility and respect,” she says. “If you start a project, you see it to the end and do it the best you can.” Together, they have built a bicycle, rebuilt a tractor, and constructed a clubhouse. After Dan taught Jordan how a bicycle works, Jordan was able to change out his mom’s bike tire.

In the four years they have been matched, Little Brother Jordan has come a long way with his social skills and attitude, and he is happy to have Dan as his Big Brother. “We might not like the same football teams, or have the same decision on who’s going to win in ‘Batman vs. Superman,’” Jordan says, “but what I do know is that we are really good friends.”

Little Sister Monica recently wrapped up her freshman year at Bethel University. She sings in the women’s chorale, she’s involved with student government, and she is the first person in her family to attend a four-year university. As a single parent, Monica’s mom says her daughter’s Big Sister was a huge help to them in Monica’s teen years. “She has guided Monica in some tough situations,” she says. “She has also helped with guiding Monica on a path to college and discussing options with her of that decision.”

Monica and Angela were matched for nine years, until Monica graduated from high school and aged out of the program. In a blog post she wrote as a letter to her Big Sister, Monica said, “Thank you for being my biggest fan. You celebrated big wins like getting into my dream college and mourned big losses like the boy I thought I would spend forever with.”

This wasn’t always guaranteed, though. When Little Sister Monica was a teenager, she and Angela hit a rough patch in their relationship. Monica was set on terminating their match. Angela held out hope that Monica would reconsider. “Months went by where the only contact Monica and I would have is my occasional text of ‘I am here when you need me’ or ‘Ready to talk when you are.’”

“I have learned a lot about myself and the person I want to be because of the amazing role model she is.”

-Little Sister Monica

Angela had grown to care about her Little Sister so much, she says, that she broke down several times, upset about Monica’s attitude and disrespectfulness, and the deterioration of their relationship. “Being a Big to Monica is similar to the unconditional support of true family members, and this includes the low points, too,” she says. So she stayed available to Monica and tried to understand and support her.

That kind of support is not always easy.

“Watching movies together, going to dinner, playing mini-golf – that is the easy stuff,” Angela says. “The hardest part of this program is not quitting on kids that have known nothing else. But let me tell you, if you push through those hard moments, it is worth it.”

Angela’s patience paid off. After waiting and waiting for Monica to circle back to her, Angela got a phone call. “It was Monica, crying from the girls’ bathroom at her high school. She needed me. She missed me. She knew I would pick up the phone when no one else would.”

Now, when Monica describes Angela’s impact on her life, she says she looks to Angela as a role model. “I want to show compassion to others the way Angela shows me every day. I want to be patient like Angela is with me when I’m being a teenage girl,” she says. “I want to make others smile like Angela did for me when I all I wanted was to cry in my room.”

Technically, their match ended last spring when Monica aged out of the program. But both say their relationship will continue. “I plan to be there and support her through this next phase of her life,” Angela says,“by continuing to be a listening ear, buying her meals that have nothing to do with ramen noodles, and, in four years, watching her don a cap and gown to accept a diploma.”

Being a Big may be a marathon, but the end of their official match was not the finish line of Angela’s personal commitment to Big Brothers Big Sisters. She now works for BBBS of Southern Minnesota, helping make sure more Bigs get to the starting line of their own matches.

When Little Brother Miguel and Big Brother Stefan were first matched, Miguel had just lost his bicycle. Big Brother Stefan suggested they build him a new one. The first step was to find the right parts. They combed the junkyard. They sanded and painted the components and learned the mechanics of how a bike works. Over time, they built from scratch not just one but two bicycles. Big Brother Stefan confesses that he knew that while they were building the bikes, they were also building their relationship. He was teaching his Little Brother that if you want to create something good out of nothing, you have to be patient and work hard. “While many of our outings have been just for fun, like going to a movie or bowling,” Stefan says, “many have an ulterior motive as well, such as learning something new or honing existing interests, skills and talents.”

More than three years ago, Miguel’s mom signed him up at Big Brothers Big Sisters of Central Texas because she saw him developing an attitude. “My son was rebellious with me,” she says. “My son talked back to me and didn’t listen to me. He behaved very poorly at school.” Big Brother Stefan has supported him through struggles and shown him how to be patient and how to relax. “He has motivated me to do better in school and to keep going so I can one day live my dream,” Little Brother Miguel says.

Little Brother Miguel’s mom says that when he started spending time with Stefan, Miguel’s outlook changed. “My son’s attitude changed little by little. Before, he didn’t do the homework his teachers assigned him. Now Stefan motivates him in his schoolwork,” she says. “He told Miguel that if he wanted to be a famous soccer player, he would need to do well at school. Now my son thinks better, and makes better decisions about his studies.”

“Stefan has motivated me to do better in school and keep going so I can one day live my dream.”

-Little Brother Miguel

Big Brother Stefan is a video game developer, and he has shown Miguel the offices where some of his favorite games are made. Being able to talk about video games right away may have helped Miguel bond with his Big Brother quickly, even though he admits he expected his Big Brother to be boring. “But then as we started to get to know each other he showed me that he wasn’t a boring guy,” Miguel says.

Big Brother Stefan decided to become a mentor after participating in Bowl for Kids’ Sake. After recruiting other members of the game development community to raise money and bowl with their team, Stefan began reflecting on the mission for which he was fundraising and thinking about his own life. “I recognized how a number of adults had made positive impacts on me growing up, through activities, projects, or just sharing stories and advice from life experiences,” he says. He decided to help out at just the right time, Miguel’s mom says. “If it weren’t for Stefan, my son would not be the boy he has grown into today.”

In the movies, when spring turns to summer, children hold lemonade stands. For pocket change, you get a cup of lemonade and the satisfaction of having contributed to someone’s camp fund or candy money. But in Springfield, Missouri, 9-year-old Tristan held a lemonade stand that was for something with a much bigger impact: his adoption by his foster mother.

Two years ago, Little Brother Tristan was matched with his Big Brother, Jesse. Tristan had been in and out of foster care, he had seen unconscionable acts of violence and endured neglect and maltreatment that no one should have to experience.

When Tristan was first enrolled as a Little, his match support specialist, Chelsea, says he was slow to trust and didn’t get along with his teachers. Given his history of trauma, she said, this was to be expected. “I think the ultimate goal for Tristan’s match with Jesse is to show him that even with all of the bad experiences he has gone through, there are still good people in the world that care about him that he can look up to and be comfortable around.”

In the two years that Tristan has been matched with his Big Brother, Tristan has made significant progress. “The mending of some trust issues has also helped his self-esteem, relationship with others, and will hopefully put Tristan on the right track for a healthier future,” Chelsea says.

Big Brother Jesse keeps his interaction with Tristan simple. They have gone to the library, gotten ice cream, walked around Bass Pro Shops, gone bowling and played video games. But being a reliable presence is often enough to make a difference. It may not seem like a huge transformation, Chelsea says, “but for Tristan to know that there are people out there that are good and worth trusting is a big deal.”

I think the ultimate goal for Tristan’s match with Jesse is to show him that even with all of the bad experiences he has gone through, there are still good people in the world that care about him that he can look up to and be comfortable around.

-Big Brothers Big Sisters Match Support Specialist Chelsea

A key lesson that Tristan has learned through his relationship with his Big Brother is that there are caring adults who will help when they can. When their match support specialist was trying to schedule a routine meeting, Tristan’s foster mom mentioned to Chelsea that Tristan was raising money to pay for his own adoption. He was having a bake sale, she said, and a lemonade stand. Perhaps other BBBS of the Ozarks staff would want to join her to support their Little, Chelsea thought. They checked with the family and sent the information to local news outlets. “By that afternoon, almost every media outlet (television and paper) had interviewed Donnie and Tristan,” Chelsea said. “And you could say that their story had gone ‘locally viral’ by that evening.”

Little Brother Tristan’s crowdfunding page shows a goal of $5,000. The page shows that so far, they have raised over $24,000. The page gives an extremely detailed history of the trauma Tristan has endured. Chelsea, who is not only Tristan and Jesse’s match support specialist but also the agency’s Director of Programs, says that she hopes people read his whole story. “I think the world sometimes tries to cover up or tiptoe around the child abuse topic because it’s uncomfortable, but just because it’s uncomfortable doesn’t mean that it’s not happening,” she says. “I think Tristan and Donnie have inspired some child abuse awareness and hopefully awareness can inspire prevention.”

This is a different sort of big impact story. It’s about the impact that is possible when a group of people in the community rally around a child and do what they can. In this case, it was the routine, caring work of a match support specialist, the commitment and constancy of a Big Brother, the extra effort of the BBBS of the Ozarks staff, and the attention of the media, not to mention the guidance and safety of a foster parent, that made this lemonade stand have a Big Impact.

Little Sister Laila and Big Sister Katie have been matched for nearly a decade. They first met on Laila’s eighth birthday and have been constant presences in each other’s lives. Big Sister Katie was named a godparent at her Little Sister’s Quinceañera. Little Sister Laila danced the hula at her Big Sister’s wedding, threw her a baby shower, and visited her in the hospital after she gave birth.

Katie volunteered to be a Big because she had a healthy, supportive childhood. “I grew up in an environment comprised of family, solid friendships and supportive mentors, all of whom helped shape me into who I am today,” she says. Katie recognized that she was lucky to have grown up in such a nurturing environment, and she wanted to give back.

At first, Katie and Laila bonded over little adventures like hiking and beach cleanups, and also mellow activities like baking and going out to eat. “I started as a little girl always wanting to go eat burgers and then shave ice all the time,” Laila says, but now she’s “a young lady that can just talk to my sister about boys and sister things.”

In the almost 10 years they have been matched, Laila has had to overcome a lot, Katie says. “Each step along the way, we’ve stayed close and she has always been open and honest with everything going on. I have seen her face many obstacles in life.”

“Our lives are interwoven. Her Successes are my successes.”

-Big Sister Katie

In her teen years, Laila wrestled with self-esteem issues. She was bullied and she began doing poorly in her classes. She started hanging out with the wrong crowd. She refused to give up on herself, though, and Katie helped her through her toughest times. “I think a sister is a woman that’s always there for you and lifting you up at your lowest,” Laila says.

Knowing she had to make the decisions that would lead to a positive future, Little Sister Laila moved to Oahu to participate in the Hawaii National Guard’s Youth ChalleNGe program. Youth ChalleNGe is an intense, 17-and-a-half-month program for at-risk youth. “She has had to make the hard choice of actively changing friends so she can surround herself with positive influences,” Katie says. When Laila earned her diploma last May, two people were permitted to fly to Oahu to attend the graduation ceremony. Laila’s mom, of course, made the trip. So did her Big Sister.

Bullying was a daily reality for Little Brother Bryan. He was teased constantly in school. Other kids told him over and over that he would never graduate. Bryan often lashed out at bullies. “I used to think that I could fight them as a way to stop them,” he says.

Bryan was unhappy and unconfident. “He was very disrespectful to me, to his peers, and to his family,” Bryan’s mom says. “Bryan didn’t know how to make friends, or keep the ones he would make.” Bryan’s mom tried counseling, but Bryan hated it. Finally, she decided to try to get Bryan a Big Brother. Little Brother Bryan was matched with his Big Brother, Jay, over seven years ago. After Bryan spent some time with his Big, Bryan’s mom started seeing a real difference in her son. “When I couldn’t get through to Bryan, I was able to talk to Jay and he would talk to Bryan and somehow get through to him.”

Big Brother Jay has a history of working with young adults, and welcomed the challenge of mentoring Bryan. “I remember filling out the paperwork and when I saw the question ‘what type of child is too tough or too hard to work with?’ I thought, ‘wow, what kind of question is that?’ No kid is too hard or tough. They all need someone no matter who they are or what they have been through,” he says.

At first, Bryan had trouble trusting Jay. He feared that Jay would quit being his Big Brother, that he’d stop showing up when he said he would. But Jay has been a faithful Big Brother for more than seven years, spending time with Bryan doing outdoor activities and helping him gain confidence and try new things. Jay told Bryan that he was not going to give up on him, and that they would stay brothers forever. When Bryan heard that, Jay says, “A huge smile came over his face. We went back to fishing that day and he caught his first fish.”

“I know I am not a quitter. My Big Brother taught me not to quit.”

-Little Brother Bryan

Bryan has been through a lot, and Jay has been there to help him. “If he wasn’t helping me with all of the bullying, I would have killed myself,” Bryan says. “My Big Brother helped me talk it through and he let me know how much I mean to him.”

When the bullying about graduation began to seep into Bryan’s psyche, Jay stepped in. He spoke to Bryan’s counselor and assured Bryan that if he kept working hard, he would graduate. “We have talked through bullying, suicidal thoughts, smoking, skipping school, staying in school and finishing well,” Jay says. “Usually while we are holding a fishing pole or on the way to the mountains.”

When her second match came to an end, Katie wasn’t sure she wanted to sign up to mentor another Little. This would be her third Little Sister. She had been a Big Sister for more than 15 years already, and she’d given so much of herself and her time to her first two Little Sisters. Her last match, which lasted 11 years, had been especially challenging. Despite how long her matches had lasted, she questioned whether she even knew how to be a successful mentor.

But a void was left after that second match ended, and Katie realized she missed mentoring. In 2002, Daijah became Katie’s third Little Sister.

“She has gone from a quiet little girl with the cutest giggle, to a confident, articulate, very reflective young woman with the same cute giggle,” Big Sister Katie says.

Daijah’s mother signed her daughter up for the program when she was just five, and now Daijah and Katie have been matched for over 12 years. When they were first matched, they baked cookies and went to the library. In her teen years, Daijah learned to drive with Katie’s help, and Katie steered her towards attending college.

Daijah’s mom says she knows Katie’s influence has been key to her daughter’s successful navigation of her teen years. “We know as a young teenager, there’s peer pressure, and boys, and teenage pregnancy. I did not want Daijah to take that route that I took – becoming a teenage mom,” Daijah’s mom said. “Having someone so extremely positive in Daijah’s life made a major impact. Daijah has maintained honor roll the whole time in private school, while maintaining a job and participating in sports.”

“Patience, perseverance, and consistency are all that is needed to be a successful Big.”

-Big Sister Katie

Little Sister Daijah has also developed a strong social consciousness. “She has very definite opinions about the rights and wrongs in our community, country and the world, and I have enjoyed our talks and discussion about these issues,” Big Sister Katie says. Little Sister Daijah credits her Big Sister for her confidence in her decisions and her willingness to speak her mind, especially on social justice issues. “I am passionate about doing my part to make the world a better place, and I know that Katie helped inspire this in me,” she says.

When Daijah was nearing the end of high school, her mother faced one of the hardest decisions of her life. She was offered a job in North Carolina. Could she leave her daughter in Ohio to finish high school? Should she pull her out of the private school that Daijah had painstakingly chosen, where she was excelling?

“The decision became easy with Katie’s support,” Daijah’s mom says, “because I knew Katie would see Daijah through until the last day of high school, with hopes of watching her walk into college on her first day.”

Big Sister Katie helped her Little Sister with her college applications and financial aid, and today, Daijah is a student at North Carolina A&T, where she plays the trumpet in the marching band.

After being involved with Big Brothers Big Sisters for more than 30 years, Big Sister Katie says being a mentor has made her a better person. She no longer doubts that she has what it takes to be a successful mentor. “Patience, perseverance, and consistency are all that is needed to be a successful Big.”

Big Brother Lee and Little Brother Nate have been matched for two years, during which time Nate has endured “unimaginable difficulties in his personal life,” Lee says. During the hardest parts of the past two years, Nate struggled a bit emotionally and academically, but he’s leaned on Lee to help him get through.

“When Lee came on board as his Big Brother, things really started to change for Nate,” Nate’s mom says. “Nate always comes home a different kid after he’s been with Lee. He smiles and laughs, and I can really tell that he enjoys his time with Lee.”

When a child is dealing with loss and other personal hardship, having a stable support system is key. When that support system comes in the form of a positive adult role model, that’s even better. “He always seems happy and no matter what mood I’m in, he can always say something that makes me laugh,” Nate says.

“I wish every child who needed a big brother in life could have a big brother as special and caring and considerate as Lee is with Nate. He’s truly a blessing, not only to Nate, but to me as well.”

-Little Brother Nate’s Mom

Almost every week, Lee makes time to see Nate. No matter what they’re doing, Lee says, his favorite part is just getting to talk. “Nate has always been a thoughtful person, capable of intellectual conversation.”

It’s easy to see how much Nate has benefited from Lee’s involvement in his life, but the effect that the Little Brother also has had on the Big Brother isn’t lost on Lee. “Getting to know Nate has resulted in me being a more confident person,” he says. “And (it) has allowed me to realize that I have knowledge and experiences worthy of sharing.”

Big Brother Tom spent 40 years working in the public school system – seven years as a teacher and 33 years in administration. He coached for 30 of those years and was always motivated by the relationships he had with his teams.

“The highlight was watching students grow into adulthood and become productive members of society and the ongoing communication I had had with these people as they grew,” Tom said. When Tom retired, he missed his ability to guide and affect youth, and when he wanted to find someone to help in a similar way, he looked to Big Brothers Big Sisters of the Lakeshore for a Little Brother.

Tom was matched with Little Brother Jake, who was struggling with his parents’ recent divorce. “I watched my son go through letdowns, disappointment, broken promises and heartbreak,” Jake’s mom said. Both she and Jake knew that he wanted more. He wanted a role model to help fill a gap in his life.

Jake says his first impression of Tom was, “Wow, I though he would be taller.” Height aside, right away, he liked him. Their first outings were short. They talked about what was going on in their lives, and built trust gradually. Tom took seriously that Jake had been let down a number of times. People would often tell Jake they would do something with him, but they wouldn’t follow through. Tom wanted to show Jake that he would be there and support him.

Places with arcade games or loud music are not places where you’ll find Tom and Jake. They prefer to meet where they can talk, like over sweet tea or Coca Cola at McDonalds. Tom gives advice, listens to Jake’s concerns, and encourages him in school and sports. Over time, as Jake opened up, Tom started to get to know the boy behind the shyness.

“Tom and I now joke around a lot, but I know that when he is being serious and when it’s time for me to get to business,” Jake said. Tom and Jake were matched when Jake was 10, and at that time, Jake was struggling with school, earning average and below average grades. He was a smart kid with a lot of potential, but when he didn’t turn in his homework, he fell behind and couldn’t catch up. Big Brother Tom helped Jake work with his teacher and got him caught up with the rest of his class. Now, Jake’s mom says, Jake makes the honor roll and strives to be the best student.

Tom’s encouragement helped Jake grow outside of the classroom as well. Jake now competes at wrestling and plays football, and Tom faithfully attends his games. Jake has also become a mentor himself, working with students with disabilities and mentoring a younger football player.

He is not shy about attributing much of his success in realizing his potential to his Big Brother. “Tom changed my outlook on life,” Jake said. “He showed me that there is more to life than being angry, being sad.”

Raised in a conflicted home, Big Sister Cathy knew that she wanted to be the kind of parent she never had. She remembers as a young teen wishing that she could share and confide in someone she could trust. “I lived in a world of surviving, not thriving,” Cathy said. Big Sister Cathy had two children and upon their departure to college she knew she had room in her life to be part of Big Brothers Big Sisters.

Cathy was matched with 12-year-old Christiana in late 2009. Christiana was a reserved girl with a traumatic early childhood history who lived with her adoptive mother. Christiana’s mother had her hands full with her disabled son and knew that this attention was at Christiana’s expense.

In their first meeting, Big Sister Cathy and Little Sister Christiana went to dinner and a movie. As their meeting ended, they immediately made plans for the following week to meet again and quickly began seeing each other four to five hours every other week. Their get-togethers involved cooking, baking, shopping, watching movies, miniature golf, jigsaw puzzles, craft projects and bowling. As they spent time together, Cathy often inserted guidance, shared wisdom and discussed coping skills with her Little Sister. Christiana started opening up more to Cathy, and she confided in her about the challenges she faced.

In her freshman year of high school, Little Sister Christiana was moved to an alternative school because she was having issues fitting in. Christiana ran away from home and had many disagreements with her mother. As a consequence of these actions, Christiana was placed in a juvenile facility.

Knowing the importance of their meetings, Cathy kept up with their meetings every other week, no matter what. Even the 90-minute drives didn’t stop Cathy from maintaining her commitment to Christiana.

“Through all of this, we stayed constant with our meeting schedule. I knew that she needed a friend that would listen to her and provide encouragement,” said Big Sister Cathy. “I always pointed out her good traits; knowing not to judge her harshly.”

Cathy always found ways to boost Christiana’s self-esteem and sought to help Christiana understand the value of her voice and belief in herself. By encouraging Christiana to use her critical skills, Cathy is teaching her Little Sister the importance of working on problems herself while understanding the results of her decisions. When situations get too complicated, Cathy provides Christiana a sounding board and Christiana knows what they talk about will be kept confidential.

Since returning home, Cathy and Christiana’s mom have seen a change in Christiana. Christiana is making a lot of good decisions and having stronger communication with her mom. Little Sister Christiana has been through many ups and downs in her 17 years, but Cathy has remained a constant and consistently a positive force in her life these past five years.

Struggling for consistency with both parents absent, Diamond’s grandmother looked at Big Brothers Big Sisters of Middle Tennessee to help her granddaughter with another adult for support. Little Sister Diamond was matched with Big Sister Janet in 2009. As Janet was getting to understand the areas that she could help Diamond with, she realized that her biggest role was simple: be there for Diamond.

“I struggled with ideas to be a great mentor, but then I am reminded by her focused attention to my words when we talk,” stated Big Sister Janet. “I don’t have to be super smart or creative here. Just be there. Just show up. Just be caring.”

When first matched, Janet and Diamond spent time at the lake, talking over dinner, or doing simple activities at Janet’s home. Their time allowed for conversation and getting to know one another. Janet and Diamond’s grandmother wanted the relationship to expose Diamond to new places, thoughts, and experiences. They both love to talk and stay connected. As they did activities, Diamond always wanted to explore that activity further. “At the end of a hike, she wants to be a botanist. I introduce her to quesadillas and then she wants to learn to cook. We talk about the office and she wants to be a businesswoman,” added Janet.

Their match has come with some challenges, however. Diamond has gone through some rough transitions at school and home. In early 2012, Diamond’s relationship with her grandmother became strained and her grandmother made the difficult decision to place Diamond into the custody of the Department of Children’s Services. Understandably, this was a heart-wrenching time for the family. While in DCS custody, Diamond struggled. She moved around multiple foster homes and would run away, then she finally found a level of stability in a group home. Throughout this time period, Janet kept close contact with Diamond and her grandmother to help where she could.

Janet loves Diamond and works determinedly to help her achieve success. Janet not only advocated on Diamond’s behalf, but she challenged Diamond to take initiative to make things happen. By taking Diamond’s hand and showing her how to be her own advocate, Janet helped Diamond find a voice in the chaos. Little Sister Diamond started to develop confidence in her abilities, talents, and above all, to believe in herself.

“Janet has been my voice when I had none. She believes in me and my family. She’s been a shoulder of support and more importantly, a real and true friend,” stated Little Sister Diamond.

Diamond often has said that Janet is someone who understands her and who doesn’t judge her. She’s someone she can talk to and who gives valuable advice. Through this advice, Diamond has been able to rise above all her challenges and is now looking forward to what the future holds.

While growing up, Jennifer would have loved a female role model adventure seeker. Instead, she settled for crashing her brother’s Boy Scout troop adventures in the hopes of learning about the outdoors – which her brother was not too thrilled about.

This passion for the outdoors led her to pursue a career in wildlife biology that always kept her on the go. “I trapped wolves in Minnesota, tracked sage-grouse in Wyoming, and measured salmon habitat in Washington,” Jennifer said. After a couple years of being a transient biologist and getting her master’s degree, she settled in Laramie, Wyoming. She immediately signed up to be a Big Sister and got matched with Little Sister Sarah.

Sarah’s mom wanted someone who could give Sarah more on-on-one time with activities and help to boost her self-confidence. What she got was so much more.

“As any Big, at the beginning, I was concerned that my Little might not like me or enjoy the activities I planned,” Big Sister Jennifer recalls. “Those concerns proved to be unfounded.” Sarah has a positive attitude, loves to laugh, and loves adventures.

Jennifer has taken the time to develop a strong foundation with her Little, and she created a great partnership with the family by being consistent and communicating with them. Jennifer has supported, encouraged and taught her Little positive behaviors. When they first were matched they would do activities that let them get to know one another. As their friendship strengthened and the trust was built, they started going on more adventures and helped each other grow by trying new things together.

Ice skating, skiing, rock climbing, kayaking, and white water rafting became part of their normal routine. As the activities grew in intensity, so did Jennifer’s attention to safety and education towards her Little. Jennifer has instilled the importance of safety in her Little as well as the trust in their training equipment. While training, Jennifer works to understand and teach Sarah what the protocols are as well as what her limits are to ensure her safety while participating in these activities. Encouragement is a big driving force in their relationship and Jennifer makes sure to never force Sarah into doing anything she is not comfortable doing.

The bond that Jennifer and Sarah have developed is what has helped Sarah grow and accomplish her own goals, such as going out for volleyball or learning how to kayak. Sarah’s parents are always excited to hear the amazing adventures they go on and think Jennifer has been a wonderful addition to Sarah’s life. Sarah’s mom stated, “I, as a parent, honestly could not ask for a better mentor for Sarah. Sarah really looks up to Jennifer because she is very outgoing and she shows Sarah what it is like to have a positive outlook in life.”

The feeling is mutual as Jennifer thinks how much Sarah has taught her in not taking life so seriously. “I’m grateful that Sarah has reminded me that it’s okay to be silly in public. That it’s OK to wear a fake mustache while baking cookies and it’s okay to break out in dance at any time,” Jennifer added. This match will continue to make fantastic memories together and have developed the foundation for a life-long friendship.

When Little Brother Kristopher’s mom made the decision to enroll her son in the Big Brothers Big Sisters program, she knew he needed some guidance. Little did she know that soon after being matched with Big Brother Richard, her son would lose contact with his dad. This event was one of the biggest challenges her son experienced and affected both his social life and his home life. Kristopher grew angry at the world and had very minimal communication with his mom. This is where Big Brother Richard stepped in and helped Kristopher cope with the loss of his dad. “Richard has showed me the brighter side of every negative situation,” stated Little Brother Kristopher. Richard knew that Kristopher didn’t need someone to lecture him and bring him down. Instead, “he fulfilled me with wisdom and knowledge, followed by corny jokes that always seemed to make me laugh in the moment,” added Kristopher.

Through constant motivation and commitment, Richard has showed his Little Brother there is a whole world to explore, no matter the challenges that life brings us. They are constantly going to events, plays, concerts and athletic games. “Every time we go, whether it’s eating, watching a play, or simply hanging out, he always guided me in the right direction and I have nothing but love and respect for him.” Despite Kristopher reaching his busy teenage years, he always makes time to meet with Richard. Their friendship and care for one another is apparent. Kristopher credits his improvements in life, such as doing better in school and communicating with his mom more, to his Big Brother. “I knew that mentoring him during these formidable years would help him become a more productive member of our community. He has truly enriched my life and shown me that it takes a village to raise a child,” mentioned Richard.

Growing up, Big Brother Richard realized that having a mentor is beneficial to kids like him who were raised in a single-parent household. Even though Richard is confined to a wheelchair, nothing has stopped him from accomplishing his dreams and creating impact by mentoring the youth in his local community. Throughout his career, Richard has assisted children throughout the Miami-Dade County Public School System by his work as a para-professional, and by creating various mentoring programs in a number of schools. Little Brother Kristopher has become a big part of this initiative by helping Richard set up the meetings and handle the paperwork to make sure each student is able to attend the program. Richard’s philosophy through his mentoring programs and in his relationship with Kristopher is that “leaders are not born, but grown through the positive influence and encouragement of their role models who took the time to mentor them.”

Many matches say they feel nervous prior to their first meeting, but that was not the case for Big Brother Ryan and Little Brother Zach. Both were excited and ready to start getting to know one another. In their first meeting in 2011, they hit if off right away and knew their friendship was going to be something special. Zach has dealt with some adult issues in his young life and Ryan has given him the opportunity to “just be a kid.” They love going to the movies, fishing and attending sporting events. One of their favorite things to do is just going out to dinner – whether it’s pizza, Chinese food or BBQ. It’s during this time that they catch up on what is going on in their lives. “We talk about academics, friends, family and everything under the sun. He knows that I am an open line of communication for him and that although some things are hard to talk about, he can talk to me and not worry about repercussion or punishment,” Big Brother Ryan said. Ryan shares his personal stories with Zach about conflicts he had while growing up and provides positive input to Zach on how to overcome his own family or peer struggles.

Through Ryan’s encouragement, Zach has increased self-confidence and is now able to stand up for himself. The struggle he found at school with bullies was one of the main reasons his parents sought out Big Brothers Big Sisters of Central Minnesota. Zach’s mom couldn’t be happier with the support and guidance Ryan has provided. “Ryan has surpassed any and all expectations I ever had when seeking a Big Brother for my son. Ryan looks past Zach’s troubles and sees him for who he is.” Big Brother Ryan credits much of his success with Zach to Zach’s mother as she will let him know the good, the bad and the ugly. “My talks with her give me insight into Zach’s world that I would not otherwise have, and I truly appreciate the candor in which she delivers the information,” added Ryan.

In addition to his commitment to his Little Brother, Ryan has become a huge advocate for the Big Brothers Big Sisters program. When Big Brothers Big Sisters of Central Minnesota began their Military Mentoring program, Ryan volunteered his time and expertise to speak on behalf of Big Brothers Big Sisters. The Military Mentoring program, Operation Bigs, supports children from military families and it encourages active duty, reserve, and retired military personnel to volunteer as mentors. Although Ryan has more responsibilities at home with his recent marriage, his move to the other side of town and at work, he strives to make sure he is consistently engaged with his Little Brother. They aim to coordinate activities every two weeks. “I always try to ensure he will have fun during our activities, but I did not expect that I would also enjoy myself as much as I do.”

Ryan has been a phenomenal role model and friend to Zach. The two hit if off from day one, but their friendship has continued to grow into something that has changed both of their lives, forever.

As a sophomore at the University of Georgia (UGA), Adam knew that he wanted to spend his time in college making a difference in his community. One day, he found the Big Brothers Big Sisters table at the UGA student center recruiting for Bigs.

Adam asked himself the same questions many Bigs ask themselves prior to signing up: “What do I know about being responsible for the growth of a child? Do I have the time each month to spend with the child?” Instead of focusing on hesitations, he focused on the profound opportunity he had to help a child. Adam then was matched with a Little Brother for the remainder of his time at UGA.

Shortly after graduation, Adam moved to Atlanta for his new job and knew he wanted to continue being a Big with Big Brothers Big Sisters of Metro Atlanta. Big Brother Adam was matched with second grader, AJ. Adam immediately noticed that his new Little Brother was shy and hesitant because of the absence of caring men in his life. Through much patience and dedication, AJ shared more with Adam. With help from AJ’s mother, Adam grew to understand AJ. “AJ’s education and achievements are very important to Adam. Big Adam has attended numerous basketball, football games, band concerts, and Boy Scouts events,” stated AJ’s mom. Adam has been there for AJ at every game or event that was important to AJ. They even have a tradition that on AJ’s birthday, Adam is in charge of bringing the cake.

Big Brother Adam has always kept AJ’s education and future in mind — helping AJ ace multiplication tests and teaching him the importance of continuing his education after high school. When AJ struggled academically or socially, Adam provided him with the tools necessary to succeed. By exposing AJ to activities that would encourage a sense of accomplishment, Adam has been instrumental in developing AJ’s confidence. Being a UGA graduate, Adam knew first-hand the importance of going to a university and has showed this to his Little Brother by making it a tradition to attend at least one Georgia Bulldogs football game every year. This tradition has shown AJ that with a little work, you can get places that will change your life for the better.

With all of AJ’s involvement and continued success, he has grown a talent for graphic design and is currently researching colleges, which Adam would love to see his Little Brother be a fellow Bulldog. “The relationship I have with my Little Brother AJ is one that will last forever and will continue to have an impact on both of us,” stated Big Brother Adam.

During their first encounter in September of 2012, Big Sister Frances and Little Sister DeaJa knew they were perfect for each other. Frances and DeaJa are also full of energy and love to talk. At first, DeaJa struggled with balancing her excitement with being considerate of others in the room. Frances helped her more positively channel that enthusiasm. “I am open to let DeaJa know what she says does matter but how she says it is more important,” stated Frances. DeaJa’s mother knew that her daughter needed someone with a strong character and tough skin who is able to knock down walls that even she as a mother could not. “She is the perfect fit for a young girl who has been through a life changing event,” said DeaJa’s mother.

With life changing events surrounding DeaJa’s life, Big Sister Frances understood that consistency in DeaJa’s life was important. Frances wanted to encourage DeaJa to channel her passion positively. Her goal as a Big Sister is to let her know that no matter what happens, she is there for her Little Sister. As a Big Sister and friend, Frances strives to make it to every event that DeaJa participates in school. DeaJa is passionate about poetry and writes it, reads it and has even been in competitions. This is another way in which Frances encourages DeaJa to let her personality shine by expressing her emotions and feelings with her poetry. Through this passion for poetry, Frances has learned more about being passionate in something you believe in and acting on it. They also enjoy walking and talking in the park, enjoying a meal, and shopping with the money DeaJa earned through her first summer job.

One of the main characteristics that Frances shares with her Little Sister is thoughtfulness for others. As they spend time together shopping, they will often reference someone that a particular item will be perfect for. DeaJa loves her family and is always thinking of ways to help them as she is gaining knowledge from her Big Sister. Frances knows the impact she is having on DeaJa’s life and will continue to be there for her no matter what and strive to help DeaJa succeed in life with all of her passion.

In October 2014, Big Sister Taylor first met her Little Sister, Kelis, during a site-based visit at Kelis’s school. Admittedly, Taylor described the first few months together as challenging. Just like with any relationship, the Big-Little match can take a little time to grow. Taylor recounted, “Our meeting time was during Kelis’s recess and I think she felt like she was missing out on playing with her friends. At the time she was struggling with reading, and that was one thing that I was going to help her with. She was not that excited about me being there and really did not want to sit down with a book.”

But soon, cooler weather hit and everything began to change. With recess moved indoors, Kelis began to enjoy their meetings more. Week by week and hour by hour, the two grew closer. Their weekly school visit was spent talking about school, reading together, and playing a game or making a craft. When the weather started to warm back up, Taylor said she was nervous. “We had finally grown really close and were enjoying each other’s company. Thankfully, Kelis was happy to spend that hour with me and her reading really improved.”

In addition to the site-based program allowing an opportunity to develop a closer friendship with Little Sister Kelis, Big Sister Taylor also found that their time together had a positive impact on Kelis’s academics. Kelis’s mother shared with Taylor that Kelis had recently advanced in her reading group at school. Taylor is looking forward to building on her relationship with Kelis by transitioning to the community-based program, which meets outside of school. “Due to our schedules, it was more convenient for us to switch to the community-based program after the school year is wrapped up. We are looking forward to spending time at the park, playing soccer, getting ice cream and just hanging out.” Taylor enjoys spending time with Kelis and has big hopes for her future. “I want Kelis to just be excited about life. Though our connection, I want to help guide her through her life.”